Beautiful People — Kaleth

   At the risk of sounding really conceited, I'm gonna say right now that I really like Children of the Nameless. It's a bit of a mess, but it's getting there. It has great potential, and I think it's pretty beautiful.
   There's just one problem. And his name is Kaleth.

   I love Kaleth. I really do. He's the first character I came up with(more on that later) and he has an incredible character arc that I'm so excited to write.
   Sorta.
   I just have such a hard time writing him! I don't know exactly what it is. Maybe it's because we're very different. or because I'm trying to hard to portray him the way I want him to be seen. But he's difficult. So I figured that doing a Beautiful People post for him could help.
   (Click here to learn more about Beautiful People!)

The Questions

1. How did you come up with this character?

   When I was imagining the start of CotN(find out more here), Kaleth kinda just popped into existence. I didn't know anything about him, but he was there and (sorta but not really) ready to tell me all about him.

2. Have they ever been starving? Why? And what did they eat to break the fast?

   I don't think he's ever been starving, but he's definitely been very hungry. Farming doesn't always go well, especially when the Feor are going around destroying crops and stuff. But there's always hunting and foraging when things get rough.

3. Do they have a talent or skill that they’re proud of?

   A better question would be if there's anything he's not proud of. Kaleth's a pretty prideful dude, but he's definitely very proud of his swordfighting skills.

4. List 3 things that would make them lose their temper.

   1) Disregarding his advice/authority
   2) Hurting someone he loves
   3) When his plans go wrong

5. What is their favourite type of weather? Least favorite?

   His favorite is hot sunny days, and he hates humidity

6. What is their Hogwarts house and/or MBTI personality?

   Kaleth is an ESTJ Gryffindor.

7. Are they more likely to worry about present problems, or freak out about the unknown future?

   He definitely thinks about and plans for the future, but he sees no point in freaking out. It's better to focus on what he can do now.

8. What is their favourite thing to drink?

   Water? My worldbuilding has not yet extended to food and drink.

9. What is their favourite color? Least favorite?

   Green might be his favorite; it's one of the colors I always associate with him. And I've got no idea what his least favorite is.

10. What is a book that changed their life?

   I don't know if he's ever seen, much less read, a book in his life.

   Well, that did seem to help a little. If nothing else, now you guys know more about Kaleth! My life is pretty crazy right now, since my family just moved and I'm in college now, but I'll try to keep posting consistently! I have a bookish post planned for next week, so keep your eyes open!

What do you think of Kaleth? Do you have a character you struggle to write? If you did Beautiful People too, share the link in the comments so I can check it out!

Beautiful People — Appearance Edition

   Greetings, kids! I kinda talked about this in my soul-baring post last month, but I finished the first draft of Children of the Nameless in April!

actually me: happy, proud, utterly exhausted

  

   Now I'm working on the second draft, with the help of my lovely betas Katie, Hannah, and Anna. Love you children. <3 The beginning of the first draft was absolute crap so I have to completely rewrite it but that's okay. It's so much better already.
   And since I've been thinking about CotN so much, and since I want to post here more often, here's a writing blog meme about my children! Go check out and/or join here!

(I'm doing this for all six kids, so forgive me for the long post.)

1. Give a brief overview of their looks. (Include a photo if you want!)

Kaleth

Basically, just combine Lucas Till, Alex Pettyfer,
and Bradley James.

Danica

Not perfect, but it's one of the the best pictures
I've found. Her hair should be longer.

Barrow

His hair should be a little more red. Honestly his
face/expression is so hard to capture.

Allorie

She also looks a lot like blonde Kristen Stewart.
(that's a real thing, I swear)

Katria

I've only found 3 pictures that even come close to looking
like her, and this is one of them. Finding POC pictures is hard.

Egin

He's basically just a short Eddie Redmayne.

2. Share a snippet that involves description of their appearance. (Okay, I'm the kind of writer that gives people a basic idea to start with, and then adds more detail as the story goes on, so I'm just going to include the first description of their appearance. Also, only Kaleth and Danica have been described in the second draft. I apologize for my first-draft writing.)

Kaleth: "the yellow-haired boy with the strong dark eyes and bright smile"

Danica: "Danica could imagine how she’d look, the pale flowers standing out against her dark hair. She imagined her face a little less plain and her grey eyes a little less dull."

Barrow: "A boy with dark red hair and a smirk"

Allorie: "tall with golden hair"

Katria: "the girl with tan skin and a murderous glare"

Egin: "one with eyes like the forest in spring and freckles like the stars in the sky"


3. What is the first thing people might notice about them?

Kaleth: how attractive/confident he is (I'm sorry but it's true)

Danica: her eyes; they're gorgeous and you can see a lot of her personality in them

Barrow: how freaking tall he is and/or his smirk

Allorie: her height; she's rather tall for a girl

Katria: her constant murderous glare; it makes up for her short stature

Egin: how small and soft and reserved he is

4. What are their unique features? (Ex: freckles, big ears, birthmark, scars, etc.)

Danica: grey eyes

Barrow: scars on his arms and chest

Katria: she has lots of scars, but I don't really know where/what they look like

Egin: lots and lots of freckles

5. How tall are they? What is their build? (Ex: stocky, slender, petite, etc.)

Kaleth: 6'1", with a broad chest and strong arms

Danica: 5'3", slender and delicate with small hands and feet

Barrow: 6'3", very lean and muscular

Allorie: 5'10", curvy and muscular

Katria: 5'2", small but incredibly strong

Egin: 5'5", pretty delicate for a boy but has strong arms from archery

6. What is their posture like? How do they usually carry themselves?

Kaleth: shoulders back and standing tall, very confident and self-assured

Danica: shy and nervous, shoulders curved in and head down

Barrow: usually slouching a little, but in a "I'm so cool and casual" way, unless he's trying to one-up Kaleth

Allorie: stands very straight because of her soldier's training

Katria: confident but guarded, always has a weapon close at hand

Egin: slouching and doing everything he can to be invisible

7. Your character has been seen on a “lazy day” (free from usual routine/expectations): what are they wearing and how do they look?

Kaleth: I don't think he understand the concept of laziness

Danica: something loose and comfortable; her hair is either very fancy because she has time, or simple because she doesn't have to take the time

Barrow: something casual but still attractive

Allorie: loose and casual hair and clothing; basically the exact opposite of her soldier uniform

Katria: loose pants, her chest binder, and a sleeveless shirt; her hair is pulled back so it doesn't get in the way while she trains

Egin: barefoot, not wearing his cloak's hood because he's out in the forest, away from everyone watching him.

8. Do they wear glasses, accessories, or jewelry on a regular basis? Do they have any article of clothing or accessory that could be considered their trademark?

Danica: she always has very pretty/elaborate braids in her hair

Katria: she keeps knives in her jacket/boot/literally anywhere she can hide them; does that count

Egin: his cloak, he almost always wears it with the hood up

9. Have they ever been bullied or shamed because of their looks? Explain!

Kaleth: nope, everybody likes him too much

Danica: she was never bullied but she was definitely ignored by most boys because she's a little plain

Barrow: only by other boys who were just jealous of his ability to get all the girls

Allorie: most of her country is short, thin, and dark-haired, and she's the opposite, so she got mocked for being different

Katria: being mean to her will result in great pain, so no

Egin: he's been teased for not being very manly

10. Are they happy with how they look? If they could change anything about their appearance, what would it be?

Kaleth: he's perfectly happy with his looks

Danica: she wishes she were prettier

Barrow: he's hot enough for the girls, so he's good

Allorie: she's never really had time to worry about her looks, but she's ashamed of her scars and bruises

Katria: she'd be happier with a more boyish figure (don't hear that often do ya)

Egin: he wishes he was stronger and less of a twig

I swear I meant to post this before the very very end of August. Sigh. At least I tried. My life is incredibly insane right now, so posting will probably be sporadic. I still love you though, I promise! <3

30 Bookish Facts About Me

   no I totally didn't steal the title from Cait what are you thinking

   In case you haven't noticed, I'm really bad at posting. But a few days ago I found a post/tag thing that seemed pretty easy, so here it is!

1) Currently reading? Hattie Big Sky. It's a cute story about a girl homesteading during World War One, but...historical fiction is just not my thing. I'm only reading it because I've got nothing else at the moment.

2) Should’ve read, like, yesterday? The Neptune Project. I saw it at Half Price Books foreverrrr ago, but never got around to it. AND THEN I BOUGHT IT AND DEVOURED IT IN A DAY AND A HALF. WOW. WHERE IS THE SEQUEL BECAUSE I NEED IT.

3) Book that impacted you? The Giver, wow. I know it's so stereotypical to love this book, but I love it. It makes you think and really question the world around you. (And I cried like twice during the movie so you should watch that too.)

4) Hyped vs backlist titles? I...actually don't read that many popular books/series? I love finding random, unadored books and then sobbing over the lack of fanbase/shoving them in everyone's faces.

5) Current series crush? THE LUNAR CHRONICLES, FOREVER AND EVER. I'm so obsessed; it's a problem.

6) How strong is your self-control around books? My mother is my self-control. Every time we go to the bookstore or the library, I come back with like ten books and she talks me out of most of them. It's very annoying but also good for my money/time.

7) Plot vs characters? Characters. Always. A good plot can't redeem lame characters.

8) Would you write under a pseudonym? I've actually considered it, but that's something I'll figure out later.

9) Would you marry your bookshelf? Actually, my bookshelves are rather...boring? I have no pretty organization. But I do have them organized by genre. Well, I did, before we had to pack them up to move.

10) Do you ever get sick of reading? Who doesn't? I get sick of everything sometimes.

11) Random bookish memory? When I was a small child and still lived in California, we would go over to my grandparents every Sunday for dinner with all the aunts and uncles and cousins. My sister would usually end up wrestling with the cousin her age, while I would read the picture books my grandma had. #bookwormfromthewomb

12) Character you relate to? Abigail Rook from Jackaby, honestly. I adore her. And Cress from (who would have guessed) Cress.

13) Do you own bookish merchandise? I've got a Gryffindor t-shirt, but other than that, my life is sadly bookish-merchandise-free. But there's this artist I know on Tumblr, and she has pictures of Cress, Cinder, Scarlet, and Winter as the four seasons, and sells them on redbubble. And, because I'm ridiculously obsessed with mugs for someone who never drinks coffee or tea, I'm going to get all four mugs eventually.

14) Controversial opinion? I do not care about Divergent. At all. Or The Mortal Instruments.

15) NOTP? Laia and Elias from An Ember in the Ashes. Please. Do not.

16) Why didn’t I love this? The School for Good and Evil. As Mia Thermopolis said very wisely, "The concept is grasped. The execution is a little...elusive."

17) Hardcover vs paperback? Hardcovers are heavier and harder to hold, but this also increases the damage when you hit someone with them. Or when you drop it on your face. They are very pretty, but so are paperbacks. Basically I have no opinions someone help me

18) Do you ever like villains? I am one of those rare people who doesn't like villains because they're, y'know, evil, and usually trying to kill the characters I actually care about.

19) Cringeable reads? Honestly? Fahrenheit 451. I read it freshman year and kinda hated it. I'm thinking about reading it again, though, because my 14-year-old self was a cranky little muffin about school, and also not all that smart.

20) Where do you get your books from? Half Price Books, because I am poor.

21) Haunting read? Challenger Deep. If you've ever read this, you know what I mean. It's about a boy's struggle with mental illness, and, to be honest, I probably shouldn't have read this while my own mental health was shaky. Because it left me very weird and freaked out for a few days. But dang, it was good.

22) Highly anticipated upcoming release? Heartless by Marissa Meyer. I NEED THIS AND I NEED IT NOW.

23) Annoying character qualities? When they don't see very obvious things that are staring them in the face. When they spend forever moping over stupid things. WHEN THE GIRL CHOOSES THE BAD BOY IN HER LOVE TRIANGLE, AGAINST HER WILL AND BETTER JUDGEMENT, BECAUSE HE'S HOT. OR SOMETHING.

24) Least favorite genre? Well, I've never read horror, and I probably never will. Historical fiction definitely isn't my favorite, but I'll read it sometimes.

25) Best tropes? If I'm being perfectly honest, I'm still not quite sure what a trope is.

26) Rereading? Reread alllllll the things. Always. I love rereads(and since I rarely buy books or go to the library, I have to reread a lot).

27) Have you abused a book? I HAD TO SHOVE A PAPERBACK INTO MY BACKPACK VERY FAST AND WHEN I GOT IT OUT AGAIN, THE COVER HAD FOLDED OVER AND IS FOREVER CREASED AND I STILL SOB ABOUT IT SOMETIMES.

28) Series you quit on? When I started Ember In The Ashes and Legend, I couldn't stop...then I finished them, set them aside, thought about them, and realized that I just didn't care. I don't hate them, but they're very "meh" books and I definitely don't care enough to finish the series. And OH MY, HOW I WISHED I HAD DNF'ED THE MATCHED SERIES. I enjoyed the first book, but everything just went downhill and none of my ships sailed and THE ENDING! I'm still bitter about that.

29) Wish it wasn’t a standalone? Book Of A Thousand Days. I don't even know what it would be about, but I want more of Dasthi and Khan Tegus and Saren and everythingggg.

30) Bad bookworm side-effects? Increased vocabulary, lack of satisfaction with one's boring life, the urge to write a bestselling novel, staying up late because "one more chapter", incoherent rambling, and more.

What character(s) do you relate to? What book impacted you? What's your favorite series? Are you glad I'm back or should I stay in the deep dark hole of blog-less-ness?

I Think I Forgot

   I think I forgot how to love myself.

   In between all of the inspired messages, the reassurances from church leaders, the daily reminders of love, and the occasional moments of pride, I forgot what the words really meant. I knew how to love others. But I didn't know how to give that same courtesy to myself.
   I forgot that I'm fragile. I forgot that I'm still just a kid in so many ways, that I'm still growing, still learning, still a little shaky. I forgot that I'm...allowed to be imperfect.
   I wanted to be a girl of sunshine. It seemed impossible right now, with the way my life was. But oh, I had visions in my head of a girl everyone loved, of a girl who seemed to glow from all the joy in her body, who couldn't seem to contain all the love she felt. "I'll be that girl one day," I told myself. "Everything will be perfect," I'd say. "I can't wait to be her." So I waited anxiously for the right time to become that girl, and while I waited, I began to fall apart.
   Because I wasn't that girl right then. I wasn't, and it broke me. I was a messy girl, with a dark and messy mind, who couldn't seem to do anything right. I knew I could, but at the moment, I couldn't.
   So I thought I was worthless.
   And I reminded myself.
   Every day.
   "Look at them," I'd say to myself. "The three of them are going to writer's conferences, together, with beautiful stories. They're younger than you, and better than you. You're a failure as a writer."
   "Look at that wonderful, friendly, outgoing, and deeply loved girl. You will never be like her." There are so many girls I've said this about.
   "Look at all the ways that your sister is better than you. You have no good qualities like she does," I'd remind myself. "You're such a disappointment."
   "You're pathetic," I'd say every time I did my schoolwork. "You're so bad at this. You'll never succeed at college, and you'll never get a job."
   As I ignored the flaws in others and ignored the good qualities in myself, I fell apart. It happened slowly, with many breakdowns along the way. Many nights of tears, many days of self-loathing. I hated who I was, and I didn't quite realize it until I opened my mouth a few days ago.
   It was just a bit of chastisement from my mom, but I began to rail on myself. Out loud. I was saying terrible, cruel things, about a girl who was a pathetic disaster, a failure, a mess. I said things about the girl I believed I was.
   It scared me. But it happened again. The pressure that had built up for months and years was spilling out, not for the first time, but I was finally realizing how destructive it was.
   And then, there was last night.
   After a busy and stressful week, and then a day that started out happy but turned downhill, I broke down.
   You see, I haven't written in a long time. I'm in the beginning of the second draft of Children of the Nameless, and it's going badly. I had to force myself to write, and every word, every sentence was torture. And so I broke down last night, admitting my frustration to my dear friend, and she said something I wasn't expecting.
   "Krissy? I mean this in the most loving way possible, but is writing good for you right now?"
It was something I knew, but had been too scared to admit consciously. Writing hurt. It honestly hurt, but I wouldn't let it go. I didn't know how to make it stop hurting. It was scary, but even scarier than that, I realized that I didn't know how to make myself happy.
I can't tell you how scary that was. I'm the happy girl! I'm the friendly, loving, playful, and sorta weird girl! I can't not be happy.
But I wasn't. I was basing my self-worth on my writing, on my talents and skills, on the way people viewed me. And as someone who is very good at doubting herself, I had no real foundation for my self-worth.
I didn't love myself. I didn't know what that meant anymore.
I realized that I needed to learn how to love myself. I couldn't wait until I was in college with a good job and a cute boyfriend. I couldn't wait until my book got published. I couldn't wait until I got my life together.
Because, for me, I won't get my life together until I love myself. I can't spend my time obsessing over the writing I'm not doing, beating myself up for procrastinating my homework, and then be successful at life. It won't work that way! I'm a fragile girl, just beginning to find myself. I'm not perfect. I won't ever be. But I can, and will, get better.
And so that, my dear friends, is why I am setting aside my writing for a time. I may write short stories on occasion, and I will certainly still write poetry, but I don't have the mental and emotional capacity to write Children of the Nameless right now. I might come back to it. I might not. I'm still figuring this out, you know? I'll be honest, I'm a messy girl. I don't have a handle on this life thing yet. But I'm working on it.
Starting today, I will learn to love myself. I will be gentle when I make mistakes. I will not hate myself for my flaws. When I fail, I'll let myself cry for a minute, then get back on my feet and try again. I will understand that my brain does not function as well as others' do, and I will not hate myself for it.
Starting today, I will learn to love myself. I will learn to love every curve, every inch of the body I still sometimes think is unattractive. I won't be ashamed of my smile. I will embrace my style, even if I don't have it figured out yet.
Starting today, I will learn to really, truly love myself. It'll be a process. It will definitely take time. But I'm going to work hard at it. And someday, I will be a messy girl, with a love bigger than her body, and sunshine glowing through her broken pieces, and I won't be quite all right, but I'll be happy.
I think I forgot how to love myself. But I remember now.

How to Write: Dystopian

So, I obviously didn't post last week, because I had some big stuff happen. Check back in Friday for the exciting news! In the meantime, here's a post from Alexa.

Thanks so much for having me, Krissy!

Greetings, readers of Words in my Soul! I am Alexa *bows* here to offer a few do’s and don’ts for writing the suddenly-very-popular genre that is dystopian fiction.

First off, I’d just like to say that I am not an expert by any means and basically have no idea what I am doing. But! These are a few tips I’ve collected and invented as my co-writer and I hash out our little dystopian project, and I think they’re all pretty solid. The tips, I mean. Though the project and my co-writer are pretty cool too.

Anyways.

Tip 1: Get Creative:

If you want to not-so-subtly hint at how horrible everything is in your society, then bring in this special ceremony/terrible thing that happens when teenagers come of age, culminating in an epic battle where everyone must RISE UP for freedom, that’s perfectly fine. But there are a lot of books like that, I mean, a lot of a lot, and since people are always searching for something unique, I think the most important thing in writing dystopian is to take that common storyline and make it your own. Add a fantastical element here, flip the whole world on its head there, you could even toss out the “epic battle” if you want to, depending on how you’ve formulated the action so far. Consider making the classic teen-girl protagonist the antagonist, or having the villainous society actually be the hero; just whatever you do, make it new.

Of course, that’s not to say you absolutely can’t use the classic storyline (my co-writer and I actually did), just that the more conventions you keep, the more creative you have to get with their execution. Which is actually not such a bad thing, because then you get to do more crazy worldbuilding. Which brings me to...

Tip 2: Thoroughly Develop Your World

If you develop your world enough, you truly explore the backstories and the complicated nuances of your society, carefully crafting it into something strong enough to suspend your reader’s disbelief, your story will most likely follow suit and begin to evolve into something unique and amazing.

To be perfectly honest though, I’m not stellar at worldbuilding. I’m very good at random-ideas-in-the-middle-of-the-night-or-while-washing-dishes worldbuilding, but thorough, systematic development of an entire world system? Not something that comes easily for me, at least not without prompting, and there were a lot of dystopian factors in our storyworld that I was just taking for granted without actually exploring what might be behind them or how they could be better. 

If that sounds like you, I’d suggest reading a lot of blog posts on the topic and maybe even finding a book about it (we used Storyworld First by Jill Williamson, and it was fantastic). Whatever you do, don’t let worldbuilding be something you brush off until the end. It’s one of the most important elements in writing a strong dystopian, and, though you do have to be careful of Storyworld Builder’s Disease, it can also be one of the most interesting and inspiring parts of the process. After all, you might discover something that spawns some brilliant plot twist or fills that massive plothole you’ve been racking your brains to fix. Worldbuilding can be as intricate and important as plotbuilding; make sure you use it to its fullest possibilities within the context of your story. :)

Tip 3: Make Your Characters As Real As Possible

This is not to say that you should kidnap a bunch of teenagers and force them at gunpoint to act out the situations living in your psychotic head--while incomparably good for research, which I obviously do not know from personal experience, kidnapping, coercion, etc, etc, is all somewhat illegal.

No, what I mean is to develop your characters the same way you develop your storyworld--carefully and thoroughly. Spend time with your charries, daydream about them, take some situation in your life and consider how the babies might react to it. Figure out who they are, why they’re that way, and make sure they stay true to themselves (not to say that they shouldn’t change at all, but for the love of the SS Katniss and Peeta, PLEASE do not have your sassy, street-smart, kickbutt dystopian hero suddenly have his/her brain melt and leak out of their ears the moment they lay eyes on their soon-to-be significant other. Please).

Also, making them real doesn’t always mean you have to fill out every character sheet, know the name of their favorite ice cream, and why they hated their kindergarten teacher. The most important things to know about any characters are who they are now, why they’re that that way, and how they’re going to change throughout the book. Now I tend to discover these things as I’m writing and editing; character worksheets are rarely--not never, but rarely--more than interesting information to store in the back of my head. However, if you are a worksheet kind of a writer, here’s a link to one that my co-writer and I used for both of the main characters in our dystopian, and I know there are a bunch more charts on that site as well. You just might have to do a little digging. :)

Tip 4: Study The Genre

Yeah. So I spend the whole post telling you to just create your own world and do your own unique thing--then for my last tip, I turn around and say to study the genre. Well, I think it’s a good idea so that you can figure out, one, what you could emulate (not plagiarize), and two, what’s already been done and what material you have to put your own unique spin on.

That said, here are my recommendations:

Hunger Games: simply because it is so popular, and if you want to make it big in this genre, it might be good to know what everyone is raving about.

The Giver: I didn’t actually like the book (I think the visual effect just works better as a movie), but I’ve been informed that it was actually one of the first modern dystopian novels, plus it has an interesting way of showing its society that’s very different from a lot of the other series that have taken off (i.e. Divergent, Delirium, Matched, etc)

The Always War: Not my favorite dystopian, but it is interesting, it’s not particularly violent, and it’s also unique to its genre. A good starter, if you haven’t read a lot of dystopians before.

The Safe Lands series: Because this is my favorite dystopian, it’s beautiful and brilliant, and I will never resist recommending it when I have the chance. ;)

Don’t’s

Well, here’s the thing, I don’t really have any don’t’s (other than, don’t write a boring story, and don’t be cliche) because when it comes to writing, I’m a bit of a free spirit and I don’t want to tell you there’s anything you can’t do. Honestly, that’s one of the awesome things about writing speculative fiction: even the sky’s not the limit; it’s just the beginning (sadly, can’t take credit for that quote, but it’s pretty awesome, amiright?). To be honest, as long as you keep your story uniquely and gorgeously yours, I don’t see that there’s anything you cannot do. :)

You got this. ;)

When she was little, all Alexa wanted was to be an artist, but she realized later that being a writer is an art in its own right. Besides, everyone knows it’s way easier to write a few paragraphs than to copy the Mona Lisa. Well, she thought it would be anyway. Then she tried editing fifty thousand words and started to rethink that Mona Lisa thing.

You can find Alexa on Pinterest, Goodreads, Fanfiction.net, and her blogs, Summer Snowflakes and Verbosity Book Reviews.